Wow! I’m getting older and older! I don’t even want to think about it anymore! Haha! I’d like to say that the past year was by far the most challenging year that I ever had. There were so many ups and downs that made my 25th year of existence a happy and fulfilled one. All of these I consider a blessing and made me who I am today. The past year was the most crucial moment of my life as I saw my belly and my body grow each day. Nate was the greatest highlight of my life last year.
1. PregnancyThe past twelve months, I saw myself being transformed from a woman clueless about motherhood to a mother that should do everything to know what she needs to know. I’ll never forget how I complained about the many stretch marks my pregnancy has brought me which is still very visible now and I think will be with me forever to remind me that motherhood will change you, not just physically but in every aspect of my life. My labor and delivery was another thing that I will never forget. It was so quick but very painful! I know I wasn’t able to do it without God’s help, without Him, I could’ve been dead due to extreme bleeding (which I didn’t even know because I slept after my last push. I didn’t even hear Nate’s first cry). I couldn’t even describe how painful it was, but God was faithful, he made me deliver Nate normally.
2. A new mumBreastfeeding and sleep deprivation were the main challenges I had to cope with for quite a long time after Nate came. Being new parents, Dane and I agree that it was joyful, tiresome, happy, and nerve wracking experience. Actually a mixed of all feelings. Everything had to be learned from changing his diapers to rocking him to sleep to bathing him. I can’t describe how challenging it was.
3. Trials in marriageHalf of this year was also very challenging to Dane and I. I am just very thankful we’re able to survive. The responsibility of being new parents plus my post-partum depression just put our marriage to the test we never experienced before. We’d fight almost every day for very simple reasons, just anything. I can’t believe how we’re able to get through it. All I can say is it’s by God’s grace, Dane’s patience, and our love that we’re still together.
3. RealizationsI have realized so many things this past 12 months and I thank God for these realizations.
-I realize that when people say you’re half dead during delivery, it’s so true!
-I realize how difficult it is raise a child and remember my parents and how patient they were with me when I was still young. They probably fought and argued so many times as well.
-I realize how great a parent’s love is. It’s just so amazing how selfless you can become for the sake of your kids.
-I realize how painful it is to see your child in pain (or sick) and you almost can’t do anything about it.
-I realize how patient my husband is after all the negative attitude I showed.
-All these realizations make me love and respect my parents more and more. It’s really true, you will never understand the sacrifices your parents made for you just to make sure they can provide your needs.
-Above all, I realize that in the toughest times, God is the only one I can lean on.
Now that I’m 26 years old…Well, I only have one wish – more wisdom from God to deal with all the future challenges I will go through in the next 365 days. God is great and awesome. That’s all I can say.