share it

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

How to Manage your Child's Tantrums

Last Sunday, we had fun and learned so much during our quarterly women's fellowship. Women's fellowship is a church gathering for all moms and wives in our Cluster, which is Cluster one. This gathering is composed of 4 churches: Golden Shower (our church), Caloocan, Litex (QC) and Montalban (Rizal) church.

Our fellowship's speaker was Ma'am Mariette Bermejo and she talked about "The Godly Woman as the Light of the World". This of course is subdivided into 3 topics: woman in the family, the church and the community. We had some series of Q&A after the session and I made sure I ask the most important question for me at this time: it's about disciplining our children.

I wanted to hear what she's advise would be.

She's a mother (both spiritual & biological) and a grandma already.

I knew I asked the right person. So my question was:

When toddlers start throwing tantrums, do we deal with them with a soft or a strict tone? When do we spank?

Ok, before I tell you her answers, don't get me wrong. I asked this because, sometimes, when Nate starts getting mad, when I talk to him kindly, he wouldn't listen, minsan mas lalo pang nagdadabog, if I talk him with a strict tone, sometimes, he'd cry so loud, and he's just one so I'm not sure if I should start spanking him. Some people spank their children slowly at an early age.

So here's the answer that I got:

1. Just let them cry in the corner.
She said tantrums are absolutely normal. If they start throwing tantrums, it's better to ignore them and let them cry if they like to. I know some kids really just want attention and they do it by crying or throwing tantrums. She said to just let them cry, eventually, they'll just stop when nobody's watching.

What's funny is, she said, before she'd use to record her daughter's cry and plays it when her daughter starts crying. haha. And she'd stop crying when she hears her voice played on the cassette player! lol.

2. Don't use food to punish. 
She said some would use food to punish their little ones. "If you keep doing that, I won't let you eat your snacks/baon/etc". Punishing using food will just make them sick sometimes, in the end tayo parin ang mamomroblema. Which I completely agree, I've never tried punishing Nate by not letting him eat his food and I don't plan on doing that either.

3. Spank only when they can understand. 
She said spanking just hurts the child if they're too young to differentiate the good & the bad yet. She unless unless we're sure that they already understand good and bad, it's better not to start spanking.

4. Ask for God's wisdom. 
Of course, prayer and God's guidance is what we need in dealing with our upset youngsters.

So these, basically are the things that I learned from her. Which I will keep in my heart as Nate grows up.

How do you handle your child's tantrums? I'd like to hear from you! :)

Facebook Blogger Plugin by JustNaira.com | Get Widget

24 comments:

  1. Sometimes I ignore them nalang, like in your post, basta they're not hurting their siblings. When they do, I remove them from the situation and tell them we should not hurt anyone, it's bad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, kasi most of them talaga mas lumalala pag pinapansin.

      Delete
  2. When I know that there's something not right, right there and then I'll tell them. I don't have patience when my kids cry, especially for no good reason. For most time naman, they are very good kids.:)
    www.sweetcuisinera.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's nice to hear sis! I hope my child will grow up to be a nice boy too.

      Delete
  3. Ignore is really effective. I've been doing that kaysa mastress ako kakasaway. Pag kalamado na, that's the time we talk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm planning to do this when my child is older. Thanks! :)

      Delete
  4. I normally bring them to a corner and explain to them that the behavior is not acceptable. It depends on the maturity of the child. but you have to remain calm.. beating is certainly no use.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whew staying calm is the hardest part!!! :/

      Delete
  5. Very helpful ito once may anak na ako.LOL! Kaso single pa eh.haha Thanks ate! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha. Tama Joseph!! You're welcome. :D

      Delete
  6. My child rarely throws a fit. But when she does, I let her cry. Once she gets tired of crying, I talk to her about her behaviour. She's just two but she understands and responds to my question. However, there are times when I spank her especially if she doesn't want to listen to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I still believe spanking helps. But I want to make sure that he's old enough before I start using that disciplinary action..

      Delete
  7. The first thing I would always do is to control myself when my daughter is having a tantrum. Walking away and ignore her are effective for both of us. Because when nobody is giving her attention, she would stop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I see so many parents are using this to discipline their kids.

      Delete
  8. My kids are no longer toddlers, but I remember letting them cry when they throw tantrums. Sometimes, I try to talk to them, but if they don't listen, I just let them be. I just talk to them later. Sometimes, I make the mistake of raising my voice, which I regret later. Thanks for sharing the message from your women's fellowship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're very welcome. Sigh, there are times that I would really raise my voice on my son just so he would stop...

      Delete
  9. Controlling my self when my son is having a tantrum is always a challenge for me. My son can understand but I just don't know why it's even harder to handle his tantrums. When we are at this situation I always count from 1 to 3. I will tell him when I reached 3, that's the end of my patience. Sometimes it works, sometimes it didn't. I think it's a stage and it will pass, hehe.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Same here sis!!! Remaining calm is always a challenge for me too!!

      Delete
  10. If Little Kulit having tantrums I let him cry kasi titigil din nman after that we talk. Super challenge to handle them when they have tantrums lalo na if they are only child. But I always said who is your mom, who is older than you if he answer me "you mom" sasabihin ko you know naman pala eh you have to follow me :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a good one sis! I'll try that on my son when he's older too! :D

      Delete
  11. Kami, when she starts crying na, I ask why. I urge her to use her words. Even if sometimes, I have to say it for her kaso 2 palang sya. It works kasi she gets to think and she refocused on forming her words and saying what she feels than just crying.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I completely agree with you. I try to urge my son to explain too, although wala pa talaga syang masabi kasi he's just 1 yr & 5 mos. Pero I hope that is a practice for him to express himself more.

      Delete
  12. Thank you for sharing! She answered your question well and I agree that children should understand what's wrong and what's right. The reward and punishment method doesn't work on kids anymore. It's too brutal. We don't allow them to think, we just condition them to do what's expected when we do this.

    I like Paulline's answer above. Encouraging your child to speak gives you an idea of what they want. Encouraging them to communicate gives you the chance to explain why they can't have what they want, or why mommy and daddy won't let him have it. Kids are stubborn sometimes but we can't give up on them.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...