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Monday, July 17, 2017

The 3-year Old's Question That Left me Speechless for a Little While


Nate is known for being talkative. And when I say talkative, I mean overly talkative. I can imagine his name on the list of the noisy folks in class already. lol. As long as he is with the people he knows, he will keep on talking and asking questions.

Last week, we were helping a neighbor nebulize her son because he was having an asthma attack so we let them use our nebulizer. The boy, experiencing it for the first time, was wailing on the top of his lungs. Out of annoyance, Nate went near him, and with an emphasized voice, he told the boy:

"Kasama 'yan sa paglaki! Sayang ang gamot!"

We were all laughing out loud! Oh, the kids are indeed a blank slate, they copy what they see. Those are the things that I used to tell him back when he was still feeling uneasy with the nebulizer.

Last Friday, during my last day at work, Nate was preparing to go to bed. The talkative boy that he is, out of nowhere, asked:

"Ma, iiwan mo ako?"

So immediately, I answered,

"no, 'nak, di kita iiwan."

Then he added:

"Si papa, iniwan ako. 'Di ba it's not good to iwan the bata?".

I was shocked. At first, I didn't know what to say or how I can explain to this young lad why his papa is still a good man even though he left us to work abroad.

I stopped to look him in the eye and I prepared to defend his papa. I told him not all jobs are like mine. Many jobs require people to go places and that includes his papa's job. I emphasized that even if his papa wants to be with us, he had no choice but to be away. I ended our conversation with a 'hope'. I said, "don't worry, konti nalang, uuwi na si papa at magkakasama na tayo uli! yay!" His face lit up.

As expected, Dane was sad to hear about this. And so am I. For so many months, we have contemplated on whether he would go home for just a short vacation or if he would be home for good. Now that he is a branch manager, a salary increase awaits him if he just comes home for vacation. It was tempting. It was not an easy decision for us but in the end, we both decided he's coming home for good. And now, after this encounter with Nate, I think that we made a good decision.

This was not the only time Nate said something about Dane's job. Many times in the past, Nate said, "tagal naman umuwi ni papa!" or "hindi ko na pabalikin si papa sa Saudi".

You just can't have the best of both worlds. With Dane working abroad, we had a good income cash flow that allowed us to save. Financially speaking, life is better with him away. However, our family is compromised. I can't imagine Nate (and his future siblings) growing up without seeing his (their) father for more than a year, see him and be with him for about two months, and again, be separated with him for another year. Iniisip ko pa lang, nalulungkot na ako.

We don't know what the future holds but for now, we are sure that this is what we want for our family. One time, I told Dane, "bakit parang nakadepende nalang yata ang kinabukasan natin sa kung babalik ka ba dyan o hindi? 'Di ba dapat kay Lord lang tayo nakadepende?" It will surely not be easy but we have our faith in God and we believe that He will never forsake us. Heis our anchor and our strong tower. In Him alone we trust.



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16 comments:

  1. Kids are really very observant. Sometimes when we cry and not talk, they are just observing us but then it created a great impact on them na. Perhaps he has seen or heard you cry and missing his papa thus he was able to say those things. He just can't articulate that much thus he sometimes use the most harsh words. He must truly misses his papa na.

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    1. You bet! At a very young age, it's amazing how these kids can miss someone they love, no? Sa video call yan, nakikita nya ako kausap si Dane and lagi ko sinasabi miss ko sya at di ko na pabalikin, lol!

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  2. Aw Nate! Don't worry your Papa is coming back na and you will be together soon. He must be missing his dad very much. Like you sis, there are so many times I was caught in a situation with my son when I can't answer his question kasi natameme na ako. At times kasi we underestimate our kids feelings and we think they are happy-go-lucky lang. But no they are not kasi pinoporblema din nila problema natin haha.

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    1. Grabe lang ang bilis nila mag mature ngayon, sis! haha. Kasi ako nagsimula akong maapektuhan sa mga problema sa bahay, nung Grade 4 na yata ako. haha

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  3. Sabi nga nila, ang tatalino na ng mga bata ngayon kaya tayong mga parents should be careful sa mga ginagawa natin lalo na kapag kaharap sila. Hay, ang hirap talaga when someone needs to be miles away, ang bigat sa loob. I experienced working abroad for years, kaya ko pa non since dalaga pa ko non. But now, a big no no. Payag ako kung kasama ang family. Glad you and Dane decided na magstay na siya dito for good. For sure God will provide.

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    1. Pareho kayo ng sinabi ni dane, gaw. He said kung single lang daw sya, he won't have any doubts going back there. Iba daw pag may pamilya. Thank you, gaw, yes, I believe He will provide. ♥

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  4. Aww sis. Nagulat ako na a boy as young as Nate uttered that question to you. I would've cried siguro if I am in your situation lalo na at caught offguard. Indeed, napakahirap na desisyon yan pero worth it naman. Like what I always tell myself, always choose the kids. There will be plenty of time to work later. And I guess, sa case ni hubby, hindi naman sya mauubusan ng magandang opportunities lalo na if faithful kayo kay Lord as a family. <3

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    1. Thank you, tama ka jan! 'Yan lang ang pinanghahawakan namin ngayon.

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  5. Awwww it's really hard for young kids to understand these things at their age. But I think you did a great job explaining it to him. Good to know that your hubby is going home for good. You're right. Just trust in God. He will provide.

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    1. Thank you, yes, I'm confident that He will. ♥

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  6. I experienced being away from my mom because she needs to work too, it was really hard. Maybe that is the reason why I chose to be a full-time mom because I know how it feels. But Nate is lucky kasi nandiyan ka pa rin sa tabi niya kahit si Daddy yung nagwowork. Sometimes, it is really hard to decide kung ano mas okay sa family pero sabi nga nila, when in doubt, always choose the kids. :)

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    1. "When in doubt, always choose the kids". Thank you for this! I will keep this in mind. ♥

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  7. I can totally relate with Nate. My dad worked abroad for years to support our family. We were well-off and I grew up getting most of the things I want. But you know, there's a hold inside of me that never really closes. The father-daughter relationship that all daughters craved for wasn't there. Always explain to Nate your situation and let him feel that he's always loved, no matter the distance. Mas okay nga ngayon kasi may video calls na :)

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    1. Aw, thanks for telling me this sis! Tama ka, buti nalang ngayon meron ng video calls. Kahit papano di nakakalimutan ni Nate itsura ng papa nya (yan ang sinasabi ng asawa ko, since 1 yr lang sya nung iniwan).

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  8. Being a parent entails A LOT of sacrifices. It's understandable that we want to put our kids' welfare and future first before anything else. The good thing now is that there are tons of ways to communicate even if we are miles away from our loved ones :)

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    1. That's right, compared before that you don't hear from your family for months!

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